I know sometimes I feel quite Badu in a very “Analog Girl in a Digital World” kinda way, but thank goodness for cell phones and Internet. I don’t think I could get by as a traveling artist without either. Both allow me time to access my friends and family every day, and I swear, without them, I don’t know how I would get by. I get a portal to home with a click of a button, and man oh man, I’m thankful for that.

As lovely as Atlanta or New York or Philadelphia or Seattle or Chicago is, there’s simply no place like home. I miss the Bay, I miss Oakland. Yet, I’m also aware of how finicky I am, quickly getting anxious of leaving not too long after I’ve settled back home. What is that? This odd contradiction? It’s hella scary sometimes, not knowing what I want. Maybe I’m searching for something, and here I’ve become, running all across the country to find it.

I recognize how beautiful life is, this blessing of being able to change cities like clothes, trying each one on for size. Not everyone gets to live like this, sharing passion with an audience who want to listen, building community across the country, eating odd things like fried alligator in Alabama (I had to try it! I was in ‘Bama!), or drinking O.E. from champagne glasses, blowing haze out of fire escapes in Harlem. Yet, there are days traveling becomes exhausting, and the constant movement makes for a feeling of displacement, and sometimes, the idea of ‘settling down’ sounds so appealing.

Sometimes my body doesn’t know what time it is. Shuffling in and out of odd time zones, there are days I find my appetite late and my sleep unusually early. Yet, there’s also an incredible beauty about the ability to call a friend knowing that even if its late where you are in the East, they have an extra few hours to spare in the West. Thanks to traveling, I’ve learned how to conference call my community cross-country.

Sigh. My suitcase is spilling over again. Wanna-be Louis Vitton Donna in a tousled clutter, oh dear. The idea of carrying your life inside a suitcase? Trust, its not all glamour, baby. Yet, what would I do without it all? How long until home gets old again? But even still, how long can I keep picking up and leaving, feeling less connected all the while?

I pray the answers find me soon. Someone, something, send me a sign. Take me home, wherever that is, whatever that means.

PS: Papalo, G, and Tezeta, what oh what would I do without you? =) Thank you for being my lifelines.